As much of a romantic as I am when it comes to weddings, I'm also a little afraid of them. Why? Uh...I'd have to say that the 50% divorce rate isn't very encouraging. Seriously. I mean MY parents are still married. I think they've been together for about 30 years or so, but I'm not entirely sure. And they still love each other very much. I can't imagine what I would do (even at this age) if they were to split up. They both came from families of divorce, so I think that strengthened their resolve to stay together forever, as their vows specified. They are old fashioned SDA (Seventh Day Adventist...my religion...yes, it's christian) Ghanaians. They were born and raised in Ghana. I know they probably want me to marry a Ghanaian, so we can pass down the language, traditions, etc. But they also told me they'll be happy with whomever I chose as long as I love the person. How do I feel? I wouldn't mind marrying a Ghanaian...but honestly, the Americanized ones that I've been exposed to out here often leave a bad taste in my mouth. The sad thing is, they're becoming that way back in Ghana too. My dad used to joke around saying he would arrange a marriage for me. If he were to try that now, I doubt he would find anyone to his liking. Divorce was never such a common thing for us (Ghanaians). It was about choosing the right person beforehand, or if your marriage was arranged, just deal with it. Now...I don't know...it's just depressing even thinking about it. What do people really think love means nowadays? "I love you, and I always will, but I just don't feel it anymore". Don't feel WHAT?? Marriage is a SERIOUS commitment. Not like a pair of shoes you can wear for a week and return because you're not "feeling" them. People commonly say during a proposal that they "want to spend the rest of our lives together" or "grow old together". I think when times get hard, they forget that romantic sentiment and most importantly, the portion of the vows that states "for better or worse". Maybe most of the people that get married are so nervous or overwhelmed that they don't realize what they're really saying. If marriage vows were made on pain of death, a lot less people would rush to get married, and a lot less people would get divorced.
In fact, the Bible says the only reason a person can get divorced, (now this is God's word here. Serious) is if one spouse commits adultery. I understand that concept, because if you think about it, that spouse it literally breaking the bonds of marriage. So if, for example a husband cheats on his wife and then leaves her to marry that woman, it's like double adultery, and it is not allowed. Whoever commits adultery is not allowed to re-marry. They are obligated to their spouse and it is up to them to work it out or suffer the consequences. The victim of this adultery is, however, allowed to re-marry, although, working through the marriage is encouraged. I've been cheated on before. It was awful...and I'm not sure how easy it would be to forgive something like that. But I suppose it qualifies as one of the "bad times"...That's why I want to be absolutely 100% sure before I agree to marry anyone.
I hope people will consider the seriousness of marriage before they decide to enter into it. Marriage is a covenant...and I think too many people either forget or don't realize it. If less people rush into marriage without approaching it as an informed decision, the divorce rate, I believe, would be much lower.
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