NONSENSE!

I realized semi recently that no one really gives a poo about anyone else in this God-forsaken country. Education used to be about self improvement and working towards the greater good of improving the country. Smarter people = better countries, right? look at the eastern countries. China and Japan for example. Look at their technology, their architecture and all the other improvements they've made over the years. Yes, the US is waaay behind. Why? Because all we care about is money. So quick to bash communism as if capitalism is any better. "At least I know I'm free in America!" When's the last time you took a look at the constitution? You might not notice all the changes that have been made because they're not exactly scribble in red ink. Let me get right to the point. Education is a cash cow now, not a right or better yet, an amenity like in the old days. Look at ASU's tuition. Just a semester ago, anything above 12 credits cost a little over $5000. Now, anything over 9 credits, I believe costs the same amount. These days no one without a trust fund can attend school without taking out student loans. Didn't Reagan have a plan to eliminate debt in the country? Now debt is a way of life. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer and take out more and more loans until they have to file for bankruptcy. But, I digress. Now you would think one could take cheaper classes at a community college and just transfer credits over to save money. WRONG. I just registered for summer classes at Mesa Community College so I can get a leg up on my fall semester course load. $2000. All because of a ridiculously nonsensical proposition called Prop 300. Basically, this proposition told me that after 4 years of living in Arizona and paying in state tuition at this very same school, the fact that I had a visa and not permanent residency or citizenship meant that I was magically out of state. So I wasted two years of my life, not attending school. Only to find out that after receiving my permanent residency, I had to wait ANOTHER YEAR before I was could be considered OFFICIALLY in state. Now, I'm not Irish, but that's a load of malarkey. So today, after registering at this ridiculous institution, I inquire as to why I'm being charged out of state, seeing as how I have been a permanent resident for a year already. They told me I needed to make a copy of my permanent resident card, fill out a prop 300 form, bring in proof that I've been living here forever and a day (my being a student there isn't proof enough) and about 8 billion other things, after which the class would come to about $76. I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS STEAMING PILE OF BOVINE FECAL MATTER. I would rather pay $500 for the same classes then be treated like a common criminal going through a background check just to attend an INFERIOR institution.

Valentine's Day

Ah yes, Valentine's Day. A time for love. A time for flowers, candy, expensive gifts and romantic dinners. A time for...Bankruptcy. Let's call it what it is, folks. Valentine's Day is nothing but a government cash cow created to further fatten the wallets of crooked bureaucrats; silent partners that invest in seemingly innocent businesses; retail, restaurants, florists, etc, all the while siphoning the hard earned cash of working class people into impenetrable, untraceable offshore accounts.

I'm not a conspiracy theorists. You don't believe me, I don't care. Does anyone know the real history of this ridiculous holiday? According to History.com, the answer is no. It's all speculation, just like my "conspiracies". Yet every year around the second week of January, after all the Christmas stock has been liquidated, department stores begin their displays for Valentine's Day. And every year on February 13th, men scramble like frightened headless sheep to these same stores, making reservations, buying cards, chocolates, wrapping paper and of course, condoms. What, you didn't know? When do you think these sex toy stores (that everyone pretends they've never been to) make the most money? Guys do all this crap and spend all this money to get LAID. So, if you haven't sealed the deal yet, and it's not your first date, expect some pressure on Valentine's Day. Mama always said nothing was really for free.

And yet, even in grade school, we are conditioned to participate in this crazy American ritual. Elementary school Valentine's Day activities are the beginning of the social hierarchy that follow through to High School and beyond. Does that sound crazy to you? It's the truth. If you think about it for a second, you'll see I'm right. All the late bloomers and chubby kids shoved into a corner with sympathy valentine cards from their parents and the teacher, and those horrible chalky candy hearts with stupid grammatically incorrect sayings on them while the pretty ones who later become the popular kids in high school flaunt how many cards, candies and gifts they've received, each display of narcissism greater than the next. I suppose school is as good a place as any to learn about injustice.

I know you're probably wondering if I'm single. The answer is yes. And no, I'm not bitter about this unnecessary "holiday" at all, let alone because of a relationship. It's true that I've never had a romantic one. Even when I wasn't single. But I don't care. I'm not a sappy person, so trying to find a gift for someone to prove that I care about them even though it's just another day on the calendar to me, isn't my idea of romantic or even mildly enjoyable.

Isn't it interesting that Black History Month is the third thing people associate the month of February with? Almost fourth, actually. Number one being, of course Valentine's Day (which I'm really getting tired of typing at this point...ironic, I know), the second being whether or not it's a leap year, and Black History Month just barely beating out shortest month of the year.

It's not singles awareness day. I don't have anything clever to call it. My advice to everyone is, save your money for something more important.

Happy Ides of February Eve, everyone. Guess I thought of something clever after all. :-)

Hindsight

They say time heals all wounds, but I tend to disagree. For those of us who shove our feelings into the abyss until they begin to pile up to the surface, healthy displays of emotions are...foreign. Of everything I have ever painted, this speaks not only to me, but from me. This was born from a series of unfortunate events, and two hours alone with just my thoughts and a whole lot of mozart (courtesy of pandora). Sometimes it's good to feel, without feeling. What I mean is, I poured my guts, all my darkness and resentment into this painting, but no one will ever know what it truly means but me....and the few I've actually shared it with. This way, everyone who can relate, will do so without bias. Art heals MY wounds. 

P.S, this painting isn't finished.

....If I sold it, would you buy it??

How do you solve a problem like Pahdeeyah?

So it's your bday, and I was going to guestblog for you...but idk how the heck to do that so....this is what you get.

So...How long has it been so far? 3 years? Something like that right? You know it takes a lot for me to open up to people. And you ALSO know I hate corny/mushy situations. So, I will just go ahead and say (savor it, because I'm only gonna say this once) that your awesome. Plus you better feel special because I'm coming back from a 2 month hiatus just to post for you! (I could be catching up on my chem homework!)

Rather than regale tales of amorousness, which would surely make me *barf*, I have a picture thingy (montra? mantra? non-sliding slide show?) of memories. Yay! Let's begin.

This was a while ago, huh? I love how we were all wearing blue that day. Totally by accident too! We practically live there. Yay for free food!

Case in point...this day was a little awkward though. I clearly remember. And of course the Africans showed up late....or was that just me? JB looks cute!

Again at Bennihana's, but in VEGAS this time! It was super fancy, huh? Look how luscious your hair is! I did a good job with this pic. *toot toot* (I stole that from your blog post haha)

Speaking of Vegas....ok let's rewind.

You're no Jill Corona, but you took some good pics. Clearly, so did I.

Speaking of Jill Corona...

You look like a teenager in this pic. I can't believe you're already 40...seems like just yesterday... (LMBO)

oh...right. Jill Corona does amazing work!

...and so do I! :-)

Omg do you remember how...ghetto our room was? We did have an amazing view though. Plus, none of us spent much time there anyways....but it was too damn noisy in the mornings. I thought vegas was a nocturnal city. WRONG!

I know you hate this pic, but I like it! and I look cute, damnit!

You always made fun of me for being a hermit. I can't help that I hate people and love sleep! Nevertheless, I came out this night to shut you up. Idk how I got convinced to go watch Final Destination 3 (almost in 3D!) You guys know I hate scary movies! Jerks!! Oh and THEN you make fun of how big my head looks in this pic! Why do I hang out with you guys? smdh.

ROADHOUSE! Texas Roadhouse and a movie!

But not before taking...

a bunch...

..of RETARDED pics! You've always been a thunderstealer. smh.

We've been through a lot together...*cue corny music*

I JUST noticed, my gloves definitely don't match...what was I thinking?

The shenanigans didn't stop there. Haboobs! Sn: who else would do this in a movie theater restroom? We're so embarrassing sometimes. Atleast we're cute :-)

Everyone wearing boots BUT Alisaar. What movie did we see that day, anyways?

Gosh you're short. I think we were skipping away shortly before or after this was taken. Good times lol

Me and Whit's bday fun! I cropped Garrit out because he was sitting too far away. Maybe we can do a redo today!

You love me even when I don't comb my hair! Awwww...

That's why I do things like this...

to make sure you get things like

This (yes I stole your thunder) because you deserve it.

So basically,

Happy stinkin Birthday! Don't say I never gave you nuffin. :-P

Nepotism...and other Injustices

This is a screen shot from the episode of the Office: Nepotism. (I LOVE that show!!!)

Someone once asked, "...Is there any justice in the world?" for some reason, I don't quite remember who that was. I think it was Bob Marley, but I can't be sure. I can't answer that question with any amount of certainty, because any answer to so open ended an inquiry would be pure speculation. Is there any justice at my place of employment? Definitely not.

I've been working at this place for three years. I recently discovered my boss only remembers me working here for half as long. Half the people here mispronounce my name. My name is Diana. They call me Diane. Despite my tireless efforts to advance in this company, I have only managed to procure a small raise. That was only after my coworker and best friend quit. I took over her RPS. That's not even the worst of it. The racism I've noticed is dumbfounding. Whenever a crime is committed by a non Caucasian person, people's face light up like it's Christmas. I've noticed certain employees receiving preferential treatment because they engage in conversation with supervisors more than others. When I work by myself, I cannot leave my station to go to the bathroom without a complaint being sent to my boss. My boss doesn't think I'm competent, even though I am now the senior (in terms of years worked) of my position (excluding my immediate supervisor). An employee that I helped train received a recent promotion (which I didn't apply for....actually only one other person did, and they didn't put in their full potential because they had other options) and now, this employee is now favored above me. In terms of being acknowledged and trusted to do an effective job. The funny thing is, no one else seems to notice this person's incompetence. I'm the kind of person that let's my work speak for itself. And I know it's speaking loud enough, but it's being muffled by the sound of an insecure overly boastful child prancing down the hallways waving an "I'm so awesome! Look at ME!" banner. There's now talk of an incentive program for certain employees. And a wall where they can hang awards they've bee given. It's funny how no one (non Caucasian) in my position (job title) has been given as much as a kudos for dealing with loud ignorant idiotic people who threaten and verbally abuse us on almost a daily basis. But for an employee to keep their eyes open during camera duty and actually function the way they are supposed to, they get a certificate or a pizza party. I was told not to expect praise or recognition for doing my job. Seems like a bit of a double standard to me. Because I have performed my duties to the fullest of my abilities while overcoming adversities that these awarded employees not only don't face, but sometimes cause. And people can't even get my fucking ENGLISH name right. It was even the name of a fucking Princess. A very famous one at that!

It's not like I'm even sitting here pouting about not getting a pat on the back. Honestly I could give a fuck. I don't even get the minimum amount of respect or common courtesy half the time. That's what pisses me off. There's this one person in charge of a lot of important things that affect how our department works, as well as the campus as a whole. He is the most douchiest, temperamental fuck it has ever been my displeasure to encounter. He constantly treats me like he's superior and I'm a lowly peon with no knowledge of anything slightly complex. So sometimes, I act like I don't know what he's talking about...just to spite him. AND YET when he's somewhere else doing who knows what (which he always plays up and tries to make it sound more important than it is) he expects me to perform certain aspects of his job. Even though he already has an assistant (who he also treats like shit). He can go fuck himself as far as I'm concerned. He's such a diva, it makes me sick. There was other person who I used to consider...not really a friend, but slightly more than an acquaintance. I helped this girl with many things (especially her mess of a personal life) along the years and one day she decided to grow a pair and tell me if I didn't like my job I shouldn't come to work. Well, naturally I went off on her. It became a big argument that had to be stopped by the boss. Was she reprimanded? No. In fact, in the end, it was made to look like my fault. There was another incident where I was performing some necessary testing on one of the emergency systems and was given a hard time by the two employees assisting. I was trying to streamline the process so it would be easier for both parties in the future, but they wanted me to just give them a list of what they were supposed to do and let them run wild. I had observed the way they worked with certain processes in the past and I was no comfortable with what they wanted, so I said no. They gave me attitude the entire time and made the whole process unnecessarily long and tedious. I, of course, sent a complaint via email, and exposed a rumor of certain inappropriate actions. The two guys were fired the next day. Was their disrespect towards me addressed at all? No. They were fired because they lied about those inappropriate things I exposed. And there happened to be proof against them.

Give me a fucking break. My only consolation is the fact that I will be leaving soon. Although soon for me isn't nearly soon enough.

...Idk

Wow...I haven't posted in forever, huh? I guess I really haven't had anything to post about, except maybe my ridiculous girl-crush on tea noir. I've mostly just been pissed off at just about everything. Recently came back from my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and I'm SO happy for her and her awesome hubby...but I had an awful time. I've mentioned earlier that I take acetazolamide for my AMS, well, it turns out moodswings are a side effect. Add that to my mild agoraphobia (self diagnosed), and misanthropy and you get a wonderful weekend. Boy...was I ready to come home after that. AND I have to take the meds at least an hour before I fly so it's in my system. During our layover in Denver, I took them and then...our flight was delayed...3hours. The meds increase the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream. So not being at a high altitude and having (this is me speculating) double the oxygen in your blood, is very VERY uncomfortable. So I sat there sick for three hours and THEN (as if this wasn't bad enough) I ended up having to take ANOTHER pill for the actual flight because the one I took in denver had worn off. You are only supposed to take two per day...that was my third. They say it affects your liver. :-/
...I may just be imagining these liver pains....

Anywho, today is the first day of a very important conference; PaGAF: Pacific Ghanaian Adventist Federation. I'm a little bit excited. My singing group has a couple of songs to perform, and I'm really hoping we blow them out of the water. This is actually the first year we've had an opportunity to perform. Today is going to be hectic. It's when everyone is going to be checking in, and it gets pretty hectic. My concern is people. I generally don't like them...well massive amounts of them in one location. That's when I shut down. But I'm really making an effort to try and change that. I hope everything goes well and I have lots of pictures to show and plenty to blog about.

SO...I didn't have a car for work today. I ordered delivery from my fave chinese place Pong Pong.

The guy got pissed at me because I didn't tip. First of all, I don't believe in tipping. But if anything, a tip has to be earned, not expected. This guy definitely didn't deserve a tip and the nerve of him to yell at me for not giving him one. I was beyond livid! Check my FB status:

How the ______ do you yell at somebody for not tipping?! PONG PONG I'm putting you on blast today "you never tip me, I gotta buy gas" are you _______ kidding me? Do I look like your financial advisor? If gas is an issue either don't deliver, or add delivery cost on your menu. GTFOHWTBS! Don't make me report you to the BBB with that. This fool was bold. Lucky I was at work. #PISSED 

Like seriously. I was already having an awful morning and now this. I had half a mind to call the store and complain, but I decided it wasn't worth it. I'm taking my patronage elsewhere. That guy needs to learn what customer service is about. I brought them customers. I told my coworkers about that place and now they love it. When you're in the business of foodservice you should really value your customers because they can make or break you.

...today has been a crappy day and it's not even over. *fingers crossed for tomorrow*

Re: These Feelings

This is for you, Rubby Serwah Gyamfi.

Why does the heart always contradict what our mind tells us? Think about it. As much as Disney and other corny "inspirational" cartoons, literature, movies and what have you, tell you to "follow your heart", the bible tells you the complete and utter opposite.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? -Jeremiah 17:9

The Holy spirit can speak to you through your conscience. Satan tries to possess and control us through our hearts because we are born with defective ones. Full of sin and all types of evil since birth. That's why we have to ask Jesus to come into our hearts and take control of it because that's the only way we can be "Perfect" the way the Bible, and God, calls us to be. I forgot exactly what it says and where...but it was one of those verses Mr. Saintgeorge made me read last week.

This is what obonsam wants....smh

So think of it as litterally a battle between the forces of good and evil. Tug of war, so to speak. Satan tries to pull us in one direction to do what we want to do, which we know automatically goes against God's will because we're all born into sin (Alliester Crowley, "do what thou wilt" you remember that stuff). And God is using our mind, our conscience to speak to us, to make practical decisions and do the right thing...which we know 90% we don't want to do. See how Satan has completely taken over the world and is using the most innocent appearing means to whisper nonsense and evil in our ears?! SMDH!